Imagine, then, my surprise when I received an email, just a few short hours later, that stated:
Thank you for your interest in participating in teaching and serving the missionaries at the Missionary Training Center. We appreciate your preparation in coming to teach others in the evaluation session and hope that you had a good experience. We regret to inform you that we will not be considering you for a teaching position. If you are still interested in working at the MTC you may apply for any non-teaching positions available through BYU Student Employment.
End. Just like that?? Last time I didn't hear for at least a week! So yes, I fell into that third group, after being encouraged to apply again, after having shown "potential". Like they said, I guess I just wasn't "the right fit." But... but... but... I keep going through the entire exchange, trying to think of ONE wrong thing I said or did. It might not have been a perfect lesson, but I certainly tried to get all the checkpoints (promised blessings, strong commitment, use of scriptures, personal experiences, class participation), and most of all, I strove to have the Spirit to tell me what to say. That IS the key to missionary to work, and teaching new elders especially. I strayed from the lesson a few times just because I thought I should. I know several elders from my mission who came home and were hired by the MTC straightaway! What's the difference? Funny thing is that I used to make fun of people who worked at the MTC, saying it was just the projection of a desperate need to hold on to the mission memories and the language, but now (eating more and more words every day), I realize there is that, but a lot of other reasons. I really wanted this job. And I know it has nothing to do with my testimony or my missionary service, I would just like to really know with what it DOES have to do.
I decided to write them back, asking briefly and calmly what I might have done wrong, for future reference, and indicating my confusion that, after being invited back, and now that there was an opening, I would be summarily dismissed like so. I didn't, and still don't expect an answer, but I felt like it was worth a try. Despite being completely unemotional in it, I'm sure they'll just perceive it as whining, a last desperate attempt at acceptance by a failed applicant.
Jared thought maybe it was a mistake? The wrong form letter accidentally cut and pasted into the email they sent? I think maybe it's further proof that I blow everything I audition/apply for. I guess I could just chalk this all up to, "maybe the Lord has different plans for me." Well, if He does, I would sure like to be let in on the plan.
