One Time We Bought a House

I've been putting off this post for months now, but I think if I just sit and start writing it out at least it will have begun, and then it's much more likely to be finished.  The Wife already posted a very good summary/photo tour on her blog, and also a great rundown of some of our projects so far, but I've been planning this in my head all summer so I'm just going to get it down anyway.

So there we were in our 2bd/1bth townhouse apartment in Provo that we really liked, going along our merry way, but then one day little Bobo was not so little anymore, and we realized the shared nursery/office space situation wasn't going to work out indefinitely.  It was getting harder and harder to schedule naptime/worktime, and besides that we knew that before TOO long we would have another little one on the way (and also our landlords rather frown on people having more than one child while living in those apartments).  Also, our contract was about to be up.  So, we started our long and in-depth process of househunting.

I'll spare you the gory and tedious details, but in the end we talked to two real estate agents and two loan officers (one of whom worked at a bank, and one of whom was an actual loan officer and also a relative) and looked at over a dozen houses over a month or two, narrowed it down to a couple of frontrunners, and then decided on what features were most important to us, what we could expect considering our budget/desired mortgage (and learned the difference between settling and compromising), and finally, some three to four months later, and just in time for our fifth anniversary, decided on this place:

It's a 4bed/2.5 bath on a nice 1/3+ acre of land that has really been great so far.  The negotiation process was pretty tiresome at times, but luckily our agent Jared was really great to work with and managed a great deal.  The poor house was on the market for almost a year without a buyer, and after dealing with the seller and even our very first experience with its curb appeal it's not too hard to figure out why, but it's also amazing what a nice mow, a thorough weeding, and a fresh coat of paint in some key spots can do for the overall look of the place (and it makes you wonder why they didn't do that in the first place if they really wanted to sell...).  I guess it's because this house was waiting for US to come along and give it some love and attention, which we knew was all it needed.  It's so nice to have a place that's actually ours, and although homeownership comes with some (pretty expected) big differences compared to renting, we're up to the challenge.  Of course it's been an adjustment in some ways, but we thought, we're done with school, we have a little guy, we're ready to move on in this next big step.

This wasn't our truck, it was our neighbors', but it's always fun to be surprised by my mom and sisters smiling back at you on the back of a U-Haul.

We took care of a few things after signing and before moving in, including getting a few appliances and even painting The Boy's room before putting everything in it.  Then we rented a U-Haul for the first time ever (since we were moving farther than a mile west, which is what we've done for the last three moves), which I had fun driving, and thanks to some family and neighbors, and NEW neighbors, we were able to get out of our apartment and into our house in just a matter of two hours or so, which was awesome.  It took a little while longer to get unpacked and finish up with all our boxes, but it was great to get most of it done so quickly.  Moving in general is such a huge pain, and really ever since we moved into our last place I've been dreading it, but it was nice to have help and to just get it behind us and check off the big things, and then it didn't take too long to feel like we've lived here for a nice long while and for it to feel like home.

Yes, well... this was SOME of our stuff.  Oy, moving.

Such a good little helper.

Too cool.

Seriously, how often do I get to drive a truck this big?

I've been learning a lot about homeownership already, like what to do about a clogged toilet (answer:  don't throw a Sharpie down there in the first place, whoever lived here before and did that).  Thanks for all your help, Handy Matt!

We thought we might get a trampoline next summer sometime, but then Matt said he had one just laying around waiting to be put back together, and asked if we wanted it.  Yes, inDEED!

 

We really love the yard.  Actually one of the main things The Wife was looking for was space, so she could feel like she's not TOTALLY surrounded by neighbors and feel a little more like her home in the midwestern woods.  This back yard has a lot of, erm... personality, but it's been a lot of fun to get to know it better.  The neighbors keep saying that they've been praying for someone to buy the house and take care of the lawn, and it's true what they said -- turn the water back on and it actually does come back before you know it.  The first time we looked at the house we almost didn't even bother looking inside because the lawn was in such terrible condition, but even a mow of the dead grass and waist-high weeds made a huge difference, and a couple weeks of sprinkling and it was even better.  It still needs a lot of work, but it's in great shape to be a more or less blank canvas come spring.

Nursery no more.

This is where I spend a significant portion of my weekday waking hours, and it's nice not to have to work around an increasingly alert and aware toddler's nap schedule.  It's also nice not to have to worry about being too noisy for neighbors downstairs or next door, and to do whatever we want to the place, whether it's paint or plant or replace things or whatever.

Our housewarming party approximately two months after moving in was the impetus that finally persuaded me to put up our art wall.

I think Julie's talking to Melody at the bottom of the stairs.

So many delicious autumnal snacks and cheeses (sans cheese!).  Nice work, Wife.  Also, lawl, The Boy back there.

Mom and Dad reading Roller Coaster (a very favorite around here) to the little boys.  Thanks for the pictures, Matt!  I didn't take a single one.

Oh, there was also that time when we were THIS CLOSE to being on House Hunters...  Yes, Julie applied, and they actually wrote back.  They emailed back and forth a few times, talking about us and who we are and what we're like and why we're moving and what we're looking for, and in the end it was just a matter of timing.  They said we wouldn't be able to move in or make any changes to the house by a certain date, and that day was past our closing date, and we thought it was just better to go into our house as soon as we could (especially since our contract was about to run out, and I did try to extend for a few days, but that turned into a pretty big hassle and mostly it's just a terrible and annoying story about how our landlady said some really rude and unprofessional things to us about losing money on us [not our fault] and how they'll be glad to be rid of us [ideal tenants], and yikes, it wasn't pretty, and mostly I'm just glad we managed to recover ANY of our deposit).  If only HH had written to us sooner!  It's a shame it didn't work out with our timeline, because I am telling you, we would have been great TV.  And that makes the third TV show I've applied for (two of them twice).  One of these days!  Ha ha.

Anyway, that's about it!  We were so close to becoming TV stars, and we had some kerfuffles with landlords/sellers, and we're slowly working through our little project list, but the end result is that we' like our house.  Not long after we moved in The Wife's (almost) entire family were in town, and although it was tight, we all fit for a couple of nights, which wouldn't even have been possible at all in our last place.  Then, some two months after moving in, we finally had our housewarming party, and it was so fun to have a lot of guests, and to have a place to fit them all, and to have a great backyard where we could send the kids to play on the swingset and the rock wall and the trampoline (thanks, Matt!), just like I always pictured.  As I've said before, I hope we really love it here, because we are NEVER moving again!  (At least not for like ten years, ha.)

Written 3 November 2014.

Happy Month-Birthday, Boy!

Well, The Boy is now one month old.  I'm not going to be like, "I can't believe he's already a month old!!!" because I sort of CAN believe it.  It's been a great four-plus weeks, and he charms and amuses and exhausts us every day.  Just a few highlights as to what's going on from where I'm sitting (The Wife has been great about blogging updates and pictures too, the latest of which you can see here):

•  Father's Day!  It was last Sunday.  (And the treat at church told me I'm worth 100 Grand!!!)  I confess that this particular holiday may or may not have made me cry in the past, so it was especially exciting for me to celebrate my first Father's Day as an actual father of a living, breathing human.  It was especially delightful to wake up that morning when this is what greeted me:

Best Father's Day present ever, Wife!!!

I will neither confirm or deny that this was posed.  I just thought it was only fitting I should have one of those photos that everyone takes when they just HAPPEN to come upon sleeping baby/daddy.

•  I love a baby burrito.  He doesn't always love being one, but I'm the dad and what I say goes, right?!?

So tiny and scrumptious!!!  It's also very handy to have a phone actually capable of taking semi-decent and accessible photos.  Though, then a lot of them end up looking really similar, adorable-sleeping-babies-in-arms and all that.

•  I think it's funny how he sometimes cries for no apparent reason, since his every single need is met, usually at the very moment when it arises.  He's especially vocal during his bath.  I guess that means he's a healthy baby, since, as the doc said, crying means breathing (...).  His expression is usually one of constant concern, but he's starting to smile (yes, smile!!!  I die every time).

Those smiley eyes!  Just like his mum's!

•  He still has his thick, dark hair!  (*knocks on wood*)   Now and then we discover a stray strand that has somehow escaped, but that's only happened a handful of times in all these days, so I think it's going to stick around for a while.

•  Tummy time!  I love tummy time.  I think I like it better than he does.

*poke*

•  I find myself rocking my dinner in my lap when I hear the poopsie squawking in his swing or even while he's nursing or in his mother's arms.  I've probably taken to being constantly subconsciously in motion, actually, just in case.

•  I'm still getting used to the idea that this sweet, innocent child will one day make decisions of his own (and hopefully the right ones) in this sometimes wonderful and sometimes increasingly rotten world, and all that that entails, but for the moment, we'll just do our best to keep him sweet and innocent.

Sometimes I just snuggle his face and can't believe how cute this child of ours is.

•  Our lives in general go on, we still are able to do a lot of the things we like to do, we just have a little more company and accessories than we used to.  Working from home is yet again a very convenient situation, making for a fairly flexible schedule and our ability to take turns watching him while the other does their thing.  It's nice to have an occasional little co-worker napping next to my desk while his mum naps or gets some things done.

This sight can often be seen on the floor just to my right during working hours.

•  Some of his nicknames at the moment include Snuffly (his tiny nostrils!  They make him sound snuffly), Little Son, Boo-Boo and Handsome (borrowed from one of our/his favorite onesies, which he is quickly outgrowing).  The Wife usually calls him Buddy or Little Bird.

•  ALIAS!!!  We are watching it.  It is good.

•  His mother has certainly taken to her new calling in life.  She hasn't always been exactly comfortable with knowing what to do with delicate newborn nieces and nephews and friends and such, but with her own she has definitely shown an instant ability and capability to protect and provide for this new little absolute dependent, and I can see just how much she cares about him.  I love watching her be a mommy.

Let's all give a big Dharma welcome to the newest member of The LOST Club!!!  I've been excited to see him in this for months!

A happy little Dharma family.

Happy One-Month, little one!  We like you a lot.

The Month of The Speck

(This one has lots of text, which is a change from the previous photo-heavy posts, but I think it's fairly interesting and worth documenting, so read on if you like!  I'm sure some will be interested.)

Now that the babymoon is all said and done and documented, the time has come to give a little update on the preparations for the imminent arrival of The Speck.  That's right, the month of May is well upon us, and that means that by the time the month is up, we will have a little one finally joining us on the outside.  As of this week (week 37 [almost last week by now, since that's how long this blogpost has been sitting waiting to be posted]) he's considered full-term, which means he could technically come any day!  We're not really expecting him for another week or two at least, but we're really hoping for before the 20th, right, Wife?  *fistpump*  Our big plan of going to Star Trek next week and its subsequent inducement of labor is still the hope, so we'll see how that goes.  In the meantime, I was thinking that maybe we haven't been documenting our preparations that thoroughly, and certainly not as thoroughly as many people do (though some perhaps document a little TOO thoroughly), so here's a little update of what's been going on.  The Wife has been posting some of her own great preparations and projects (here, here, here, here and here), but here are a few more general ones:

• We're up to weekly appointments at the lady doctor (who is usually a man), which is ever so conveniently located immediately across the street from us (honestly, we walk ten yards and we're at the building).  Our insurance covers this clinic, so that's where we've been going, which means they have several doctors, and we sometimes see a different one every week, and whichever one is on call when we go into labor is the one who will deliver The Speck.  Some people might prefer having the same doctor throughout the process, but we're the type that don't mind and in-and-out kind of visit with whatever doctor happens to be there, as long as they're all qualified and appropriate, of course, which they all have (mostly) been so far.  We're just not very high maintenance as long as people know what they're doing, and the insurance coverage is pretty darn good.  Also, they did a great job of removing The Wife's tennis ball, so we have plenty of confidence in them.

• Speaking of the tennis ball incident and previous struggles with fertility, there don't seem to have been any issues with that (*knocks on wood*), for which we are very grateful.  It's crazy how you try and try and there are issues and complications, and then when it finally happened, it really did just that and has been going along apparently without a hitch.

• A couple of months ago we signed up for and attended a series of classes offered at the local hospital, which were somewhat interesting and informative, and mostly just helped us feel better prepared in general (though that Miracle of Life video... oh my).  Julie was... glad to be a little more prepared for the whole nursing scene too.  It's funny to think that pretty much everyone in that class by now has a little baby on the outside, since most people were further along than we were when we went to it.

• We've been slowly accumulating baby things over the months, and we're just about finished checking things off our list!  We figured it would be easier to buy things piecemeal as we go along rather than buying everything at once at the very end, which would be just crazy and expensive to do all at the same time.  So we just picked up a thing or two whenever we did our weekly grocery shopping, also ordering the big things every week or two online (crib, carseat, play yard, stroller...), and then gradually putting them together as the time draws near.  (We didn't want to buy them all too early, since then they would just be sitting there in boxes for all that time anyway.)  The nesting instinct has kicked in, our house is getting cleaned and sorted out, and as of now the nursery is pretty much assembled (and appropriately separated from the office, though they share the same room), and it's looking great!  I can't wait to see a snuggly little swaddled bundle in that crib.

In there.

• We also have plenty of clothes from sisters and friends and shower gifts and various other places, so that we've hardly had to buy any baby clothes at all!  (Thanks so much, sisters and friends!!!)  It's so nice to have plenty of things for him to wear at various ages, and we're definitely not 2 kewl for hand-me-downs.  The closet and dresser are in place and organized, the diapers and wipey-dipes are on hand, and there's also a nice little children's library building up.  Speaking of all this, my sisters and mom threw a really nice shower, and many friends and family were so kind as to attend.

Invitation art courtesy of Elise.  Love iiiit.  It's hanging on the bulletin board above my desk.

• We've been keeping track of things we need to do, like find a pediatrician and pre-register for labor & delivery, and contact the insurance and work for the necessary paperwork for family leave and such.  Julie hopes every day that it will be The Day so that she won't have to go to work anymore (I tell her just to go as much as she feels like or feels able to do, we don't want her overdoing it!), and I look forward to my two weeks paid leave myself (I could technically take several weeks longer, but it's unpaid, and I do have plenty of vacation days, so we'll see what happens and how things are going).

•  Julie has big plans to make some freezer meals for the crock pot and such, so we'll have plenty of ready-made and delicious things to eat when we don't have a lot of time to make something fresh and new, though we're also really looking forward to her mom coming to visit and my mom visiting too, and both of them making us delicious foods and treats (right, moms?!?).

• We have plenty of movies stored up on our DVR and Netflix TV shows to catch up on, so if (when) we're up late nights and spending a lot of time at home we'll have plenty to occupy us while we're trying to keep a newborn occupied and happy and sleeping when he should be.

• As far as the pregnancy itself, I have come to the conclusion that my dear wife is a pretty great pregnant lady.  She's a good sport and she's been active and even when she's grumpy or upset she tries not to let it get to her too much.  She has NO trouble sleeping (for real, she could probably sleep ten hours straight every night if she didn't have things to do each morning, and which she definitely does NOT take for granted), and after the first trimester [correction:  the first 20 weeks] she hasn't felt that sick (there's this short period every morning around 10 or 11 where she feels a little gross, but it always passes pretty quickly).  We've heard so many horror stories, and also dream situations, and so far she seems to me at least a little better than average, which is a great blessing to her, me AND The Speck.  She's had some of the usual symptoms and side-effects (no crazy cravings in the middle of the night though... remember what I said about sleeping great?  Though she still does like a few things to eat especially, like cheeeeese, though that's nothing really new), though I myself have been breaking out, putting on a few extra pounds, being unusually emotionally sensitive, feeling especially awkward and clumsy, having disturbing dreams and feeling really tired.  Sympathy symptoms?  I'm a believer.   Julie has been checking out and reading and studying from many books about various methods of delivery and rearing young ones, and it's been good to take bits and pieces from here and there and thinking of how we can adapt them to our own parenting ideas and such (though of course we have NOTHING to learn about parenting, since we already know it all and we will be PERFECT parents!  Aren't all first-timers perfect parents??).

• A lot of people have been naturally wondering about his name.  All we can say right now is that we have a few ideas and have narrowed it down considerably, but we're not ready to reveal our idea(s) yet.  Don't worry, in just a few weeks it will all be clear, and don't worry, we're not going to name him something ridiculous like Zerrick or Tomaquino or Pilot Inspektor or Google or Holy Tnetennba or anything with an apostrophe (yes, these are all true names I have found in a brief scouring of the interwebs for unfortunate infant nomenclature [except for Tomaquino, I made that one up, and Tnettenba, which Moss made up]...  people... don't be ridiculous).  Apparently, occasionally some people don't decide on a name before leaving the hospital, so the nurses write "Male" or "Female" on the paperwork as the first name, and some go back and change, but I guess several thousands don't... Why.

• As for The Infamous Speck himself, he's reportedly doing great, moving around a lot and keeping his mum on her toes (more like, keeping his mum sitting back with her feet up) and his dad on his too (gladly running about to respond to mum's every whim and need).  He's about 6.5 pounds now, and his heartbeat always sounds nice and strong, and he doesn't seem to be causing many contractions, real or otherwise, so who knows what that could mean, if anything at all?  It's still WAY exciting to me to feel his little movements and jabs, and it's great to know he's moving about plenty.  Sometimes I sing to him and sometimes Julie pokes him back when he pokes her, but often we just watch as he stretches his boundaries and makes her tummy nice and lopsided.  It's still amazing to me that there's this child inside of there just finishing up his cooking so he can join us in the outside world in just a few weeks.

My wife is not prego (that's spaghetti sauce), and she's not preggers (that's just stupid), but she is a beautiful and radiant pregnant girl with active, squirmy offspring inside of her, and she's doing a great job of creating the physical body for this human that our Creator has seen fit to bestow upon us.  I can't wait to take a more active and personal role as this child's daddy-o.  Keep going by, May!  And come see us soon, Speck!  Just a couple more weeks and you can join us out here.  It's a scary place sometimes, but I promise we'll take care of you.

Thing the First: Moving

I have three things I've been meaning to blog about.  (There are actually a few more than that, but these are three more noteworthy recent events that have been on deck for a while.)  So, thing the first is moving.  We moved!  For those who haven't seen already, The Wife blogged yesterday about this as well, including a very amusing animated photo tour (seriously, go look at it, it's hilARious!), but I wanted to document the process a little too.

(Just now I wrote a couple of nice long paragraphs detailing our moving history for the last two years, when I realized I just blogged about that a few weeks ago.  Good thing I noticed, that would have been an embarrassing repeat.)

So yes, last you heard we were about to move.  And then we did!  And I learned a few things:

• Having assistance from friends and family makes a HUGE difference, even if you're only moving half a mile away.  The first night we were working, it was just me and The Wife boxing things up and loading up our lil' car and taking stuff over one carload at a time.  This was VERY slowgoing.  Once Julie's visiting teacher and my parents showed up, it was a completely different experience.  We were almost completely finished packing and moving within a couple of hours.  Thanks, Mom and Dad and Mary!  This has inspired me to be a good helper whenever possible when friends and family are moving.

• Having a family member with a truck is ALSO a huge help.  It spared us the trouble of relocating our couches by hand (again).  Thanks, Jonny!  This has inspired me to have a truck someday so that I can be a Godsend for someone in a similar fashion.

• Sometimes, no matter what precautions you take to prevent a lapse in service (especially since your livelihood depends on being connected to the technological world), there just might be some complications in transferring your internet or TV or electricity or gas service (and issues there were with all of those listed).  There were some serious headaches, but I only had to go to the library to work once or twice.  This has inspired me to take even more precautions in the future, and try not to be too bothered if even those added measures turn out not to make the transition perfectly smooth.

• Cleaning checks are rotten, and even if you spend hours getting your old apartment in far better condition than it was when you moved in, the inspectorlady may nonchalantly wander about and point out things that you spent considerable time cleaning and say it's not clean enough.  Then she'll come back to recheck it after you have another chance to fix it up some more, and probably charge you for the recheck (but she probably won't tell you there will be an extra charge until she takes it out of your deposit).  This has inspired me to be picky about cleaning checks like I was when I was a student, and also to be annoyed by that lady.

• There are a few differences between renting from a big company with lots of properties and from a family that owns just a few.  There are pros and cons to each, but for now we're looking forward to the latter situation.  This has inspired me to try to find out in the future if we were charged extra fees before it's been two years and it's pretty much too late to do anything about them.

• In Provo, moving half a mile away means not only a new ward, but also a new stake.  This has inspired me to, um, keep going to church?  Yes, that.

And those are some of the things I learned throughout the process this time.  And now I'm going to show some of my favorite amenities!  Like I said, The Wife already posted a great tour, so I won't post a lot of pictures, except of my favorite things about living here.

• THIS:

 

I heard someone say once that you should be careful what chores you pick up during the first few weeks of marriage, because then you'll basically be doing those chores for the rest of forevermore, and it seemed perfectly fair that I should handle dishwashing anyway, especially since Julie usually makes (delicious) dinner.  Nevertheless, after almost three years of washing dishes by hand, and discovering some weird and annoying dryness and sensitivity of my hands due to prolonged exposure to water or something, I was just getting kind of vexed with the process, so I was SO ready for this little baby.  I don't know how we ever functioned without it.  I love so much loading it up and turning it on and walking away.  May I never take it for granted.  My hands are already so much happier.

• THIS:

Our old place had coin-operated laundry, but that's annoying and can get expensive, so we mostly spent the last few years loading up our dirty clothing and taking them to Mom and Dad's house.  This was a pretty good arrangement for a while because 1) It gave us a good reason to visit Mom and Dad at least once a week, 2) It was free (less the travel expense, which balanced out, again because it doubled as a visit to the folks, but also because of...), 3) Mom and Dad usually made dinner for us, so we scored some foods out of the deal too.  Still, after a few years of this, planning for the commute and the subsequent wait started to wear on our schedule.  It seems like such a huge luxury to be able to just throw laundry in whenever and then go about your business right there at home.  And it's not in a hallway or bathroom, like so many of the other apartments we looked at!  It's in its own room, a fact with gives The Wife (and me) much glee.

• THIS:

Anyone who knows me well knows of my aversion to summer (or, more accurately, summer heat).  I just hate feeling sweaty and hot and unable to cool down.  Our old place had a very small and fairly ineffective wall unit in the living room.  It actually worked pretty well, as long as you were standing RIGHT in front of it.  Step away in the kitchen and it's basically a big oven, and don't even think about the bedroom or bathroom.  (We discovered during cleaning that a virtual wall of dust might have had something to do with its ineffectiveness, but...  oh well.  It might work better for the new kids who moved in there.)  A standing, rotating fan helped on summer nights, but mostly I felt nasty and sweaty every night.  Once I started working at home, I knew that something HAD to be done, I simply could not survive the long summer months sitting at that kitchen table all day.  This was one of the amenities that we turned down a lot of nice apartments for, and it was the right decision.  I love to hear that AC rumble as it turns on.  Luckily, it's also been a pretty mild summer (some days we don't even need to turn it on, it's been so nice), but still, there have been a few days that were pretty gross, and I don't have to deal with it!  XD  (Until I get in the car to go somewhere, then I still have plenty of opportunities to gripe, ha.)

• The second bedroom is also really nice.  At the moment it's the office, and it's great to be able to shut the door on work at the end of the workday and not be confronted by it and reminded by it at every turn, but in the future this room has the possibility of being multipurpose.

So there you go!  We love our new townhouse place (it has stairs!  We've never had stairs before!  That means no downstairs neighbors!).  We've already had a few visitors for a few nights, and it was great to have space to put them and not have to apologize for how hot they were going to get during the night.  So, friends and family, if you are coming to town and need a place to stay, hit us up!  We're glad to give you a tour and pull out the new air mattress.

Moving blows...

... but having moved is glorious.  Details to follow.  There's been just so much going on for the last couple of weeks that I haven't had a chance to document everything properly here on the blog, so for now, here's your teaser and first look at our new apartment.

We love our new place!

P.S.  Props to me and my Photoshop skills, exhibited above.  You didn't even notice, did you?  I guess that's the point.  But I wanted to make it known for my own purposes. :D

Doctors and Hospitals and Tennis Balls: A Husband's Perspective

I have an epic Valentine's Day post about ready to go, but in the spirit of doing things chronologically, I wanted to do a quick post about The Wife's recent visits to see the doctor from my point of view.  I don't need to give a lot of details here, since she has done such a good job of chronicling her adventures over at her blog, but I still wanted to give a little info and some links to her posts for people who are interested and might not regularly visit Hinkypunk Station (though of course you all should... she is funny and clever and witty).  I don't think this will be TMI or anything, but just be aware.

First, a story:  One day it was Christmas 2011.  In the earliest morning my beloved wife gave me my first Christmas present--the news that we were finally expecting our firstborn.  Most of the dozen or so people who read this blog are probably aware by now that we've been hoping to add a small humanoid to our little family for a while, so this was really exciting news.  She was just a few weeks along, so we didn't spread the word right away (it was the hardest secret to keep during the Christmas festivities, believe you me), but things took a troubling turn just a few days later when certain curious bodily signs and/or symptoms led us to visit the doctor.  To make a long story (involving several hospitals, a very long ER visit --a word to ER doctors:  DON'T say something like, "There's some kind of big mass here..." and then never address it again--and finally seeing a good specialist, which Julie has documented much more fully here and here), it was discovered that we lost the poor wee thing, but this led to a few tests and getting some real information.  As it turned out, what Julie was carrying, as it were, and had been for some years, was a benign mass the size of a tennis ball on her uterus (it was attached to the outside by a stalk, which leads to it being termed a "pedunculated fibroid," which is like the funniest medical term ever).  It wasn't extremely serious, just a mass of tissue, especially since she didn't even know it was there (some people feel extreme pain from them), but it could cause problems with future pregnancies and life in general, so a few weeks later out it went (which Julie has documented here).  It was a fairly non-invasive surgery due to interesting and exciting technology described in the links above, and she was left with just a few little incisions on her tummy.  I really wanted to be present for the procedure, I was like, come on, I promise I won't get in the way, I'll just stand in the corner quietly and watch!  I even (later) illustrated it to get my point across:

But I guess that's just not how things are done. While she was in recovery Doc came out and gave me the scoop, including showing me high-quality, super-sharp pictures of my wife's insides.  I mean, how many people get to see that?  It was fascinating.  He showed me her appendix and her fibroid and her many other innards, and explained to me what he did and what was removed and how it all went (that is, successfully).  He also indicated that she has endometriosis and that they removed an endometreoma from one of her ovaries, which might have had something to do with our difficulty conceiving for these past many many months.  So that was taken care of too, and when it was all said and done she spent a couple of hours looking like this:

Awwwww.

Julie was a champ in surgery, especially for a rookie, and it was my great pleasure to wait on her hand and foot until she was feeling better, and beyond of course.  Before too long we went home and recovery continued.

Fast-forward a few weeks, and a few days ago we had our follow-up appointment with Doc, where he showed Julie the pictures I saw (which she was really hoping to see), and checked her incisions to make sure they were healing well and right (they were), and where he explained again the things he told me while she was recouping.  He gave us some options for managing the endometriosis and assured Julie that biologically and reproductively she's still young and has many child-bearing years ahead of her, should she desire such, and was particularly encouraging when we reminded him that she had in fact been pregnant before the surgery.  Anyway, there's a lot more to it all, but that's the gist, and Julie wrote about it here, including an artist's rendering of what has been dubbed the Tennis Ball, since (alas!) we didn't get copies of the pictures to take home.  In the end it was a good visit, and we know our options going forward.  We are of course sad to have lost our first positive pregnancy, but we have high hopes for the future, and we're glad to have resolved some of these issues about which we wouldn't even have known otherwise.  Like our neighbor said, it's like when you get glasses after all your life and only then realize that you weren't able to see very clearly.

This has been a heckuva way to start the new year, but we have come a long way and are determined to make the rest of 2012 better than the first part of it!  Mostly at the moment my biggest concern is with the obvious miscommunication between hospitals and billing and insurance people, since they keep sending us odd statements that don't make much sense.  Here's a tip, hospital folks:  Don't send the bill until the insurance has had a chance to process and figure out their portion, and THEN send the final statement and I'll be glad to pay it.  Having said that, I am ever so grateful for our excellent insurance and our having added Julie to it just last fall.

Dear Valentine: You're Standing On My Neck

Here's a little story:  When I was in college and my sister Elise had just started high school, we spent a lot of time just the two of us.  We watched a lot of movies and TV together, and one of the shows that we started to watch very regularly was Daria, the five-season originally-MTV animated satire of high school life starring the too-smart-for-her-own-good, sarcastic, self-imposed loner and the people that surround her at school and home.  Twice nightly on most evenings we could be found watching Daria while we did homework or played Minesweeper or ate snacks with friends and family.  We were annoyed that The N would pathetically air "edited" versions of the barely PG-rated show (while allowing other practically propagandistic and pornographic shows like Degrassi to air completely unaltered).  We seriously loved this show, and probably saw almost every episode at least three times.  We related to the characters and situations, and were invested in the lives of the citizens of Lawndale.

We didn't even realize how much it was influencing our sense of humor and catchphrases we started to use daily, and how much it brought us closer together.  (See the following clip for a relevant example, point of interest about :59-1:10).


Also here, from a later point in the same episode:



It had a pretty devoted following of fans online, and there were even a couple of DVD releases of the TV movies that took place between seasons.

Fast-forward several years.  Elise and I are both married and Daria had long since stopped airing regularly, but last summer the powers that be finally saw fit to release the well-loved show on DVD.  The entire series, including the two movies were included on one eight-disc set, and many months later, after numerous gentle (and not quite so gentle) nudges and reminders, The Wife gave it to me for Christmas, sneakily disguised underneath a false bottom of a box containing another gift!  O, the cleverness!  Julie had seen a few of the first episodes when Elise received it for her birthday earlier in the year, and admittedly the start of the show is pretty rough (the animation, writing and characters vastly improve as the show goes on), but now was the time to really instruct her in the ways of Daria.

Fast-forward again several weeks.  Last Tuesday, we watched the final moments of the Daria saga, and we celebrated by eating frozen lasagna (a dinnterime staple in the Morgendorffer household).

 

It was great to take the journey with her and relive all the memories I made so many years ago.  Daria is still clever but secretly insecure and a little sad, Jane is still artistic, composed and confident, Quinn is still hilarious and not as shallow as she lets on, Helen and Jake are still crazy but really do love their daughters, and Trent is still hopelessly unmotivated but also still hopelessly cool.  I am proud to say that Julie became quite invested in the characters as time went on, and especially throughout the last couple seasons, she gasped and grumbled, laughed and shook her fist.  We now often quote parts of it together, and still laugh about things we watched weeks ago.

There were even a couple of times as we watched that I admit I felt a little misty, probably due mostly to memories of watching with Elise, but I'm so glad I can now share the experience with my wife.  We love to introduce each other to shows that we love, and it's even better when the other actually likes it (I'm now quite a fan of Battlestar Galactica and Firefly, for example, while Julie has taken to The Twilight Zone and even Survivor--Luckily we already had LOST in common).

And I guess this means this is my official Valentine's Day post too, which seems kind of fitting for some reason.  Well, I love Valentine's Day more than I ever have, now that I have a Valentine to share it with.  I love you so, Wife!

So, for now, and forever, you're standing on my neck.  What a beautiful sentiment.

Timely Message

Inspiring:



Thank you, President Packer, for saying what I wait every General Conference to hear.  On some issues it just seems that, for whatever reason, the Brethren speak vaguely or generally, their words are twisted and manipulated to meet certain persons' needs and desires.  But in this instance, I felt the purpose and point of the talk were crystal clear.  President Packer's conference address, regardless of the incredible amount of political, social and religious (not to mention hypocritical and pathetic) backlash, was one of humility, compassion and love.  To infer anything else would be willfully and knowingly contrary to the intent and delivery, as would be obvious to any open-minded person who actually bothered to listen to/read the talk.  I've been feeling lately there's a pretty big problem with the rising generation having to do with victim mentality, a sense of entitlement and an overall know-it-all attitude (and I don't exclude myself in said generation).  The Gospel of Jesus Christ is a doctrine of empowerment and encouragement, perspective and humility, understanding we are basically nothing without Him.  Ignoring all of that would be a huge personal and eternal disservice.

Things are getting more and more black and white these days, for better or worse, and lines are definitely being drawn and sides are definitely being taken.  I believe I said several years ago that this would be the issue that divides the Church, and it breaks my heart to see it happening more and more openly and blatantly.  Sinful tendencies, behavior, or even thought patterns of any kind (that's ANY kind) can and must be overcome.  Such is the state of humanity and the promise of the Atonement.  This is refreshing and necessary to constantly review, and really quite empowering.  Thank you again for the reminder, President Packer.

Changes

Time passes, and as it does things inevitably change.  Of course there are some things that remain ever unaltered, such as the undying devotion I feel toward my wife of now over eight months, but some things can and must change, and lately two very significant things have evolved for the better.

#1:  The living situation

I guess I never really addressed our big move.  After almost six months of unreasonable and vexing issues in our first apartment involving space and housing quality (read: disgusting creature infestation), crazy neighbors, questionable neighborhood, infuriating management and spotty maintenance (the details about which I won't bore you here), we decided it was time to try to sell our contract early and seek new accommodations.  We did some research, showed our place and within a matter of weeks we were out of there forever.  The poor fellow who finally bought our contract did so sight-unseen, but we decided that we felt good about giving our contract up to someone, especially a single guy because:  It's actually a pretty good sized space for a single man, even if he does, as we were led to believe, have a sometimes-child with him; most of the management issues would have been solved, since the property had recently been purchased by a different company (who have been giving us real problems as far as getting our deposit back is concerned, but that's for another blogpost...  Just beware of REMS, Inc. is all I can say); the bug situation was reportedly on the mend; the neighbor situation had been improved considerably; the contract only went until August, so if it was bad the new tenant could just put up with it for a few months (heck, we did) and then opt not to renew.  We had a lot of good memories at our old place, including our first winter and holidays, but it was time for a change.  And even though we only moved about a mile and a half away, the situation is decidedly improved, and considering other circumstances (see #2 below), we decided we could afford a few more dollars a month for such an upgrade.

#2:  The working situation

As I said, certain circumstances led us to feel that we could afford to move into a better situation.  Julie found work after several frustrating months of searching, and was quickly welcomed into her employers' good graces due to her high productivity, positive attitude and fun personality (not to mention that nice Masters degree...), and they have been encouraging her to apply for promotions and other such opportunities.

Hot on the heels of Julie's employment success, I experienced a little of my own.  Since last May I had been working as a graphic designer for a local company that creates and prints phonebooks for publication and distribution in Arizona, California, Wyoming, Arizona and Utah, and while I was grateful to have a job to pay for wedding and honeymoon necessities, and to live on while Julie looked for work, it was always a temporary situation until I found something a little more profitable and relateable to my education.  There were times I was so frustrated that I was ready to walk out immediately, but I knew I had to stick it out until something else came along, and I never stopped looking for new opportunities.  When the supervisor for the Hmong interpreters at General Conference indicated that his place of employment might be looking for a new/additional graphics man, I told him to definitely keep me informed.  Just two weeks ago I talked to him in length about the job, and he said they would definitely be looking for someone new.  I had been waiting for something else to come along, and along came something!  I submitted by resume, complete with link to my online portfolio, and by the next day I had been contacted and scheduled for a phone interview.  Within the week I was offered a job making much more than I currently was, working remotely (at home!) and doing work much closer to my field of study!  They wanted me to start immediately, but I insisted on giving the office some kind of notice, however minimal.  The company is Pearson, and their work is largely products, presentations, programs and websites for use in every level of the education system; the job is graphic designer/animator, and the atmosphere is fun and creative; most of the interaction is via web meetings and phone calls.  The only drawback is that the job was initially listed as temporary, but the company is very optimistic that it will turn permanent in the next few months.

By the end of the week they'll have me set up with a killer home office, including a new Mac and fancy tablet, and I'll be learning a lot and adjusting to new things, I'm sure.  I look forward to and welcome the challenge.  I've also worked out a deal with Dad to rent some of his unused office space so I can spread out and have a more roomy studio space until we have more room at home.

So that's what's been going on!  We love our new apartment, and I'm looking forward to some new work.  It's not my dream job of course, but until Disney calls me up, I'm glad to expand my skill set, build my resume and do some creative work on the way.

Back to Life

*sigh* I guess a lot of good things must come to an end, to paraphrase the old saying. I promise glorious wedding and honeymoon posts are forthcoming, but here's a short note to let everyone know I'm alive and well, and Julie and I are happy and so much in love. We had a great time in California and didn't want to come back last Friday, but even though we flew back to Utah, the honeymoon continues. Today is my first workday back, and my first full day away from The Wife (I just love saying that). As an aside, I admit it was nice to hit the gym again this morning, especially when I live so much closer to it now, but it's going to be a long day, and I count the moments until I can see Mrs. G. again. It won't be long!

For the time being, here's a glorious photo from 15 August, courtesy of Tandem Photography. We saw a larger number of the photos last night and they looked fantastic! We can't wait to see the finished collection.

I'm a husband now! And it feels great to have this band 'round my finger.

Back to the Drawing Board...

Dear Andrew,

Thank you for your recent application for admission to graduate study at Brigham Young University.

We regret to inform you that the Psychology- Clinical PhD program has not recommended you for admission for Fall 2009...

... *sigh* Just my luck. But at least they "wish [me] success in attaining [my] personal and academic goals," right?

So, for me, I guess it's, quite literally, back to the drawing board...

Apropos.

I'm not generally a huge fan of Ziggy, but now and then he hits a resonant chord. Today's installment in the Daily Universe caught my attention:

Kind of relevant and even profound, isn't it?

Chickens, Ducks and... ?

This is an "analogy" I read recently online, regarding homosexuality and its "genetic causes". It's a little blatant and heavy-handed in its convoluted moral, but I present it for your perusal.

One day there is a chicken called “straight”. A born chicken. One day when he was a young adult, he began to fantasize drifting across the lakes with the ducks. He watch some “documentaries” on it. So he made his move and dives into the lake. He felt good for that fleeting moment. Then his legs began to struggle paddling across the lake. It was then he realised it is just not for him. He climbed out exhausted, and with deep pain and the realisation that the lake life is just not for him. Then all the chickens rejoice for him for he had left the lake. He felt good, he felt pleased. So he began to go around spreading the news to every chicken community that the lake lifestyle is horrible, damaging and life threatening. Little did he know that he is disrespecting a duck who was around there.

That duck is called “gay”. He is a born duck. No one believes he is born that way because on the chickenville the land is huge but the lake is small. But he had lived his entire life as a duck, among the small community of ducks nearby. Some of the ducks had ventured into chickenville with the same disasterous consequences of trying to live like a chicken. But they realise they will never be a chicken and returned to the lake. These ducks were scorned by the majority chicken community for not trying hard enough to be a chicken. But the duck saw what happened and realised, ducks will be ducks, chickens will be chickens.

The moral of the story? A duck called gay, even by the pressure of the majority of chickens, can never be called a chicken, and must accept himself in that full affirmation. A chicken called straight may try to venture into the lake lifestyle for curiousity, but can never be a duck. Straights and gays are but two sexual orientations. Respectfully, all must accept what they are born as, and can never attempt to cross over. The evidence is all there. The day ducks and chickens were born, they were born distinctive in characters and will face life as who they are. There may be confusion along the way, but the true self always will mature.

Yes, I found it quite amusing, but at the same time so completely weak and hopelessly flawed as a fable that I couldn't help writing my own (by the bye, in mine ducks mean something totally different):

Once there was a chicken. He was born a chicken, he thought he would always be a chicken. His friends and family were all chickens. One day he saw the ducks floating and swimming across the nearby lake. The idea attracted him, and he found himself innocently drawn to the ducks. Some of his fellow chickens started to tease him, scornfully calling him "ducky" and "duckboy". They ridiculed him for wanting to join and spend time with the ducks. He spent his days thinking about the ducks swimming in the lake and flying overhead. He thought maybe chicken society was right and he was more like a duck than a chicken. After all, he liked the feel of the cool water on his feet and was so captivated with the ducks' beautiful coloring. Once he jumped in the lake and tried to swim. He tried to quack like a duck. He often associated with the other ducks. He started to feel confused.

Eventually, he started to believe the things the other chickens said of him, and started to think that he was actually BORN a duck, or at least with duck-like tendencies and interests, and that God had just made a mistake by putting him inside a chicken's body. He decided to join the ducks. He tried to look and act more like a duck--to make his feet webbed so he could swim with the other ducks; to make his wings stronger so he could join in flying with the other ducks; to adjust his voice box so he could sound like the other ducks; to color his feathers to look more like the ducks. He enjoyed his exciting, if counterfeit, new life as a duck. He met a lot of other chickens who also had realized they were supposed to be ducks, and they became his friends and powerful allies against their former chicken selves, often reminding each other that they were meant all along to be ducks. They flew in interesting patterns and spent their hot summer days in the cool pond. He felt like he belonged, and the other chicken-turned-ducks didn't make fun of him for wanting to be a duck, they welcomed him openly, reaffirming that the other chickens were wrong about him, and unfair to ridicule his new, "true" self.

Then one day, after many years of living as a chicken-duck, the chicken looked at himself and realized that he was simply not happy. He had a lot of fun, but the happiness it brought wasn't lasting, and he saw that he was being dishonest to himself and others. He looked back at the chickens and realized that they were wrong about him. Just because he liked the feel of the water or appreciated beautiful colors did NOT mean he was a duck! He knew he was not being true to himself. He couldn't change what God had made him, no matter what he said or did, and even though the appeal of being one of the ducks had at one time been strong, it began to fade as he discovered and learned to appreciate his true self. All the things chicken society had told him were just not true. He looked at his chicken feet and his chicken wings and knew that he was wrong about feeling he was meant to be a duck. He realized that he was created a chicken, and even though he at first thought it would be more fun to be a duck, he knew that is not who he truly was. It took him a while to change all the chicken-ducklike thoughts he had, but gradually he began to feel those old desires fade. He went back to the chicken colony and finally felt like he truly belonged. The fleeting happiness he felt with the chicken-ducks was soon overshadowed as he contributed and helped the other chickens realize that it's okay to be different and still be a chicken. His old chicken friends were surprised, but learned that he was right. To the chicken's surprise, his former chicken-duck friends turned on him viciously, snapping at him whenever he tried to tell them how happy he now truly was, and beating him with their wings when he said that he was trying to help other confused chickens. They called him a traitor, a liar, a coward and insisted he was even more confused than before--that he was still a chicken-duck. He was surprised and annoyed that these so-called friends who were so supportive of his decisions before were now so unfair to him, ignoring his rediscovered true identity, but demanding he accept theirs.

The chicken soon had to avoid the company of his old, fair-weather friends, and while it hurt him, he knew he had to be true to himself, even if there were a lot of loud, persuasive and powerful birds who tried to convince him otherwise. He knew ducks are ducks and chickens are chickens. Ducks and chickens complement each other, and they naturally are what they are, and they can't pretend to be what they're not. He was more of a chicken than most of them would know, and he had reclaimed his true identity.

There you go! And I didn't even have to explain what mine meant as I went along or include a labelled moral--hopefully it made sense on its own. It's still a little flawed, but much more coherent. And to the one behind the muddled original, thanks for the inspiration!

A few late-night thoughts

Lately I have been involved in yet another cyclic series of online arguments. This time they do their research, too! In fact, they've visited my humble blog and even quoted it in their amusing barbs against me (in fact, they're probably reading this even now--Hello, XGWers! Thanks for visiting!). I'm always amazed, though I couldn't really care less, at the outright meanness of it all. I mean, people are just uncivil sometimes (I admit I can be not very nice myself, though I try to be). Anyway, this time it's been the same thing that I've seen time and again, with slight variations; for instance, this time my initial post was sincerely and honestly 100% polite and well-intentioned, though it probably wasn't taken that way. I usually avoid these sort of things, because these people are nearly impossible to reason with, and I'm also generally outnumbered, and like I said, it's cyclic and redundant and often goes nowhere. I don't usually mind, because I'm fairly resilient and quite immovable in my beliefs, and most of the time it's somewhat bewildering, but mostly amusingly baffling. In the past, I became defensive and personal, allowed myself to become upset and offended, and felt very unhappy and bothered. This time I was upbeat and mostly smiling, just bemused at the acidic responses and personal barbs. It was kind of interesting how unfazed I was. In the end I decided to have my final say and bow out, because the whole conversation turned so many corners and hit so many walls, it was pointless to proceed, as is often the case. The funniest part is that if my life went a certain unfathomable direction, these same people who apparently hate my guts would change their tune completely and kiss my feet with sickening sycophancy, and would become my best friends. Who needs friends like that?

People are so afraid of another point of view. Well, strike that. People are so afraid of certain points of view. There are actually a lot of popular perspectives these days, but the ones that really matter are sometimes just not well-received. The interesting thing about these sort of arguments is that my very existence threatens the entire worldview of certain persons (always with them telling me who I "really" am, how I'm "confused" and how my life and direction has been decided for me by my family or parents--isn't it possible that I walked my path and found myself on my own?). I read Mom's latest blog post tonight and found it surprisingly apropos. Sometimes we think we can't (or think we don't need to) do something when really we just don't want to. And then when we meet someone who HAS done what we are so against doing, it totally goes against our natural desire to be validated, even though validation is unnecessary if you have a proper perspective. Why is it so hard to allow another perspective? Heaven knows the world is having its say. It seems only right that there should be a little balance. Then again, I think it was C. S. Lewis that said (paraphrase), "There are very many points of view until you find the truth. Then there is only one."

Anyway, yes, I have a book that's almost ready for publishing. And yes, it IS going to be published. And yes, it is going to help people--it already has. My story is common and unusual, and for that reason I feel it's worth telling. And yes, I am willing and ready to stand up as a public example of this. I don't feel remotely like a martyr, and I CERTAINLY don't feel like a victim (Good heavens, some of the people I've spoken to in the past... you might as well paint a big old 'V' on their shirt front). I feel like someone who has a right to exist and to tell a story.

I really look forward to meeting my Maker. I think it will be such a wonderful feeling. And I'm so grateful for the knowledge we have of Him, His laws, His love and His plan for us.

I know who I am and I am happy. Some people try to decide for me (incomprehensibly) that I'm not, but check it out--I'm a son of God. In a way, thanks to my online opponents, more than ever I'm not confused in the least. What could make me happier?

Back to school?...

Well, after a long talk with Mom and Dad last night, I think I have pretty much come to the conclusion that I'm going back to school. I do want to work in the animation field, but as yet, it doesn't look too promising, at least not right away. I lost a lot of graduation momentum taking two years off right after I left school, and my demo reel is sadly lacking for the standards that most studios require, even smaller local ones. So, at the risk of finding myself a completely unmarketable person in the world, especially in the future when a family might be involved, I have decided to study in the field of Psychology. I feel like I have certain artistic skills that could be put to good use in the world, but I also want to help people, and because of my background and history, and my interest in the amazing nature of the creation of the human mind, I think this is up my alley. I would want to study family psychology, and eventually have a degree in clinical work and therapy. (Incidentally, I had in the past considered law and medicine, but I don't know if those are really for me.) In some ways, I feel like this is a concession, giving up the dreams I've always had, but at the same time, I can't help thinking this might be a reason things aren't quite working out so far. In the arts, I've always felt I was good at a lot of things, but not really GREAT at anything. Maybe it's time to study something a little less visual... I did take the Intro to Psych class for a general requirement way back when, and really enjoyed it, I even considered continuing a little more into psychology for some electives. So, today I've been on the phone with Admissions at BYU, figuring out if a student with a BFA can go back to school before getting into a graduate program, and they said that I should be able to, all it requires is an abbreviated version of the admission application, a renewed ecclesiastical endorsement and a letter of explanation, telling why I need to go to school in between degrees, etc. They even waive the application fee for such cases! They said if you have a 3.0 and you went to BYU before, the chances are pretty good of getting back in. There are just a few prerequisites required to apply to the Psych graduate program, and if I get accepted for the post-BA status, I can start taking classes as early as Summer term this year, and maybe be done with the prerequisites by January.

So, I think that's what I might do. Yea? Nay?

I mean, really, if I could make a living singing, I would do that in an instant, but you know, I need to think about the future.