So, as for update #2 (in re: this post)...
As yet, my iPod is still woefully unresponsive. As directed by several sources, I let it sit for several days (nigh a week), even in front of a desk fan for added circulation and drying, but even then (even now, actually), the poor thing just will not turn on. I hear from many people that sometimes a month, or even months later, the thing will just suddenly start working again, when its parts are all finally dry, but you know me... I can't wait that long. Dad was ever so nice enough to loan me an extra little mp3 player so I can go on my runs, but I still held out hope for my beloved iPod. And I still kind of do.
But then, in a strange and surprising turn of events, an elder still serving in my mission contacted me to let me know that he had by a series of circumstances come to own a new 16 gb iTouch (at a bafflingly reasonable discount, due to a damaged product previously purchase), and was no longer in need of the player that he had bought back when we were in Appleton together in December. In the end, he offered it up to me, and I ever so eagerly accepted. In return, he sent me his iTouch so that I could load it up with all the missionary-appropriate music that the boy could ever ask for. I even put a few church videos on there (heaven knows the thing had enough space). I still felt like I should pay him something for it, since it is practically new, so I sent some cash when I sent back his fully-loaded iTouch.
So now I am the proud and happy owner of an 8 gb 3rd Generation iPod Nano video!
Elder... You know who you are. You know I already loved you, but now I add my thanks. You're a life-saver!