Tuesday, October 7, 2008

"We Regret to Inform You..."

So, after being invited and encouraged in July to return to the MTC to be reevaulated for future teaching possibilities (they weren't hiring at the time, but said I showed potential and they would like to see me again), I signed up and finally found an open spot for last Thursday. One of my old MTC teachers is about to be finished teaching there, so there will be an opening really soon, so now I thought would be the time to be reevaluated. I went and taught, I thought, a decent lesson, just to the two evaluators, since no one else had shown up to fill that time slot. We had a nice conversation about the missionary purpose, according to Preach My Gospel, and how we can apply this purpose to our lives. We became acquainted and had a good time, and then, as they always do, they told me that in a few days they will contact me with one of three messages: 1) We will be recommending you for a teaching interview (basically meaning there's a job open and they think I could fill it), 2) There isn't a job opening at the moment, but feel free to come back and be reevaluated in a few months (which is where I fell last time I was evaluated), and 3) Thanks, but no thanks, don't bother trying again (which, I figured, was for people who showed NO potential, and was just a nice way of getting them out of the way). They did state the ever-diplomatic caveat saying that if I fell into this third category, it has nothing to do with the strength of my testimony, or how well I served as a missionary...

Imagine, then, my surprise when I received an email, just a few short hours later, that stated:

Thank you for your interest in participating in teaching and serving the missionaries at the Missionary Training Center. We appreciate your preparation in coming to teach others in the evaluation session and hope that you had a good experience. We regret to inform you that we will not be considering you for a teaching position. If you are still interested in working at the MTC you may apply for any non-teaching positions available through BYU Student Employment.

End. Just like that?? Last time I didn't hear for at least a week! So yes, I fell into that third group, after being encouraged to apply again, after having shown "potential". Like they said, I guess I just wasn't "the right fit." But... but... but... I keep going through the entire exchange, trying to think of ONE wrong thing I said or did. It might not have been a perfect lesson, but I certainly tried to get all the checkpoints (promised blessings, strong commitment, use of scriptures, personal experiences, class participation), and most of all, I strove to have the Spirit to tell me what to say. That IS the key to missionary to work, and teaching new elders especially. I strayed from the lesson a few times just because I thought I should. I know several elders from my mission who came home and were hired by the MTC straightaway! What's the difference? Funny thing is that I used to make fun of people who worked at the MTC, saying it was just the projection of a desperate need to hold on to the mission memories and the language, but now (eating more and more words every day), I realize there is that, but a lot of other reasons. I really wanted this job. And I know it has nothing to do with my testimony or my missionary service, I would just like to really know with what it DOES have to do.

I decided to write them back, asking briefly and calmly what I might have done wrong, for future reference, and indicating my confusion that, after being invited back, and now that there was an opening, I would be summarily dismissed like so. I didn't, and still don't expect an answer, but I felt like it was worth a try. Despite being completely unemotional in it, I'm sure they'll just perceive it as whining, a last desperate attempt at acceptance by a failed applicant.

Jared thought maybe it was a mistake? The wrong form letter accidentally cut and pasted into the email they sent? I think maybe it's further proof that I blow everything I audition/apply for. I guess I could just chalk this all up to, "maybe the Lord has different plans for me." Well, if He does, I would sure like to be let in on the plan.


  1. I hold true to my statement! There had to be some sort of mix up. To say that you are unfit to teach but should consider being the grumpy custodian in the basement is absurd. It's a mistake, I tell you.

  2. Well, Drewsie, I know you read my blog so I know you know I know how you feel. I've had this happen to me many times in the last few months and it is one of the most aggravating things I have experienced in the world of jobs. The most recent one, the data entry one I wrote about, was one of the worst--it's a completely mindless job where all you have to do is type information into the computer. I had a REALLY good interview, hit it off really well with the two women conducting it, and felt really good about it when I left. Plus I freaking type 100 words per minute and know a lot about computers. How much more qualified for a data entry job can you get? And yet... I didn't get it. So, so stupid.

    I'll cross my fingers with your Hmong friend that it was a mistake. Otherwise, though I feel bad saying it about the MTC... jerks. Don't worry, something will come along. I know very well that that is not remotely helpful, but it's still true. (In related news, I finally got a job today. :) It pays pretty crappy, but I don't care; it's a job I'll enjoy, and it pays enough for what I need.)

    Good luck!

  3. That is lame. lame. lame. Sorry. But hey, you don't fail at EVERYTHING you apply for, because you got into BYU easier than I did. But I know what you mean, and how you feel. Yuck. But hey, I actually get fired from every job I get (or laid off), so which is worse?

  4. I'm shocked times two:

    1. That they didn't accept you.

    2. That you think you fail at everything you apply/audition for. (Although I think you're somewhat kidding, here right? You don't really think that?)

    Remember, there could be so many reasons why you might not be what they're looking for, beyond your teaching ability (I'm sure you're nothing short of stellar)(I just said "stellar") I can't really provide examples of what those things might be, because I have no clue, but... okay, this is a sorry attempt to make you feel better. But still. I'm very surprised and I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. But for the record, and I would have said this regardless of if you needed buoying up today, I think you're one of the most talented (in many areas) and amazing people I ever knew.

    The end.

  5. That sounds like it is lame. It seems ridiculous if they are looking for a teacher, especially a hmong teacher, which I assume don't come along too often, and they reject you! My stars, the ridiculousness of it all!

  6. Drew that is quite strange. You of all people should get the job. I know that doesn't help much, but still. I also know how you feel, more than you think probably. Just do what Jack does. Let all the anger and dissapointment come in and then count "1-2-3-4-5" and then you take charge. Or....it goes something like that. :) Also most of the great men we respect didn't always have things work out for them either. Maybe you will be the next great man of the country and world! I can totally see it. Remember me when you are famous!

  7. ahhh... see i think that maybe you'll meet the love of your life at your new job and she just wasn't gonna work there....she's too cool for that place. ha (sorry to those who DO or HAVE worked there). Don't worry Drew... i know you're not a crazy nutcase.

  8. Wow. I didn't read this email until just today. I know by now they've already called you back to go in for a second interview, so this isn't necessary, but I'm going to say it anyway. You do NOT blow at everything you audition/try out for. That is lame. You're great. It just happens that there are a lot of other great people too. I have been feeling a lot of lameness lately as well, but we all just need to buck up and focus on our strengths. Your strengths: brilliant, happy, fun, beautiful voice, dedicated, hard-working, and so on and so forth. Or at least as far as I've observed. Don't get down. You're great.